So due to the overwhelming requests to give harsh critiques, I've decided to open up The Reverend Dave's College of Ass-Kickery and Salacious Critiques. What is that you say? Let me explain.
The Rev. Dave's College Ass-Kickery and Salacious Critiques or R.D.C.A.S.C will be an online place were you can get an artistic ass kicking from a group of qualified professionals. For a nominal price your ass will be handed to you on a silver platter.
Price list includes:
For $10 one of our professionals will give you an overall assessment of your portfolio. This includes an intense artistic ass-banging of epic proportion. And suggestions on what you should work on and books and other artists you should look at and learn from.
For $20 All the above, plus an in depth critique of one piece of art that you choose. This includes drawing over you piece of defective art, showing you firsthand what you did wrong and how you can change it for the better.
For $50 All of the above, plus 5 more harsh in depth critiques.
For $100 Instead of an ass-kicking you'll receive an ASS-KISSING! That's right, we're talking about a stroke job that would make the gods jealous. Be the envy of all your friends when you show them Sean Murphy or Dan Panosian or Joe Jusko gushing all over your latest artistic masterpiece. Here's an example of what you'll receive..... "OMG! This artistic endeavor is one of the greatest pieces of art I've ever seen. You're like better than Frazetta, Rockwell, Kirby, Moebius and Liefield all rolled up into one. Someday I can only hope to be as good as you."
See? Something like that.
And of course, there's a money-back guarantee if there's nothing wrong with your art.
So save up your money. Details about where to send the money will be coming soon on this journal.