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So due to the overwhelming requests to give harsh critiques, I've decided to open up The Reverend Dave's College of Ass-Kickery and Salacious Critiques. What is that you say? Let me explain.

The Rev. Dave's College Ass-Kickery and Salacious Critiques or R.D.C.A.S.C will be an online place were you can get an artistic ass kicking from a group of qualified professionals. For a nominal price your ass will be handed to you on a silver platter.

Price list includes:
For $10 one of our professionals will give you an overall assessment of your portfolio. This includes an intense artistic ass-banging of epic proportion. And suggestions on what you should work on and books and other artists you should look at and learn from.

For $20 All the above, plus an in depth critique of one piece of art that you choose. This includes drawing over you piece of defective art, showing you firsthand what you did wrong and how you can change it for the better.

For $50 All of the above, plus 5 more harsh in depth critiques.

For $100 Instead of an ass-kicking you'll receive an ASS-KISSING! That's right, we're talking about a stroke job that would make the gods jealous. Be the envy of all your friends when you show them Sean Murphy or Dan Panosian or Joe Jusko gushing all over your latest artistic masterpiece. Here's an example of what you'll receive..... "OMG! This artistic endeavor is one of the greatest pieces of art I've ever seen. You're like better than Frazetta, Rockwell, Kirby, Moebius and Liefield all rolled up into one. Someday I can only hope to be as good as you."
See? Something like that.

And of course, there's a money-back guarantee if there's nothing wrong with your art.


So save up your money. Details about where to send the money will be coming soon on this journal.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: A lot
Add a Comment:
 
:iconredgeisha:
RedGeisha Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011  Student Artist
This is the scariest shit I've ever heard of.
Reply
:iconspikeyheadedfreak:
spikeyheadedfreak Featured By Owner May 15, 2011
awesome idea, i think I shall have to cough up the cash in the near future for this.
Reply
:iconkit1:
kit1 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
I'm liking this idea. At least you guys get something out of giving some advice. Most professionals are sick of it, because at the end of the day, they take off their respective hats, and they're not at their job any more. But if you happen to be an artist, or lawyer, or anyone in a speciality field, anyone thinks they can come up to you and say 'Hey wow, you're an artist. Would you mind checking out my work/my son Jimmy's work/my nephew Howard's work/and don't forget my sister's friend's grandkids scribbles. They're great, right?' :P
Reply
:iconkudlatus:
kudlatus Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011
GO GET EM REV!!
Reply
:iconanmph:
Anmph Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Brilliant idea, but I got married to be talked to like that, and there are no $100 deals in this marriage lol
Reply
:iconmmiguelangell:
mmiguelangell Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011   Filmographer
ASS-KISSING! sounds promising!!!
Reply
:iconsadwonderland:
sadwonderland Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2011
Thumbs up on this, bra.

Missed you at Wondercon, so now I must wait in patience to attend a drink and draw at SDCC and witness the reverend firsthand. I really hope the witnessing is free. :)
Reply
:iconcasperium:
Casperium Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Do we get $100.00 if we do the ass kissing on your artwork?? lol... Love it!
Reply
:iconseangordonmurphy:
seangordonmurphy Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2011
I hear for $200 you can get to sit on Dave's shoulders during a drink and draw session.
Reply
:iconsadwonderland:
sadwonderland Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2011
Oh GREAT, now I have to find some way to save up 200 bucks before San Diego.
Reply
:icondevilpig:
Devilpig Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2011
Like you didn't know that first hand. You know it was money well spent. BTW, I sending over 30 art critiques your way since you're one of the faculty. Get them done quick so I can pay you you're 10%.
Reply
:iconaugustustodopoderoso:
augustustodopoderoso Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
I´m sending my application to the R.D.C.A.S.C Uni, hope there´s still room for my ass :)
Good stuff Rev.
Cheers!
Reply
:iconjk5-inks:
JK5-Inks Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Do we get a certificate or anything with the ass-kicking?
Reply
:iconmoray-eel:
moray-eel Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2011
I know Liefeldt - who are those other guys you mentioned ;)
Reply
:iconessbeeescobar:
EssbeeEscobar Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
MOVE OVER SOUPY SALES!!!You, sir, are incredibly disturbed. That being said, I'll be looking for that information on where to send my $100 bucks. You guys will take pennies and coupons, yes?

EssBee
Reply
:iconwork-is-play:
work-is-play Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
oink!
Reply
:iconmarkledford:
MarkLedford Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Artist
+ 10 This the only joke that got me today.
Reply
:iconstalk:
stalk Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
What, no secret decoder ring? :(

At least throw in the "If you buy and use this one expensive as shit marker you can do convention sketches just like (insert fave artist's name here)" info.
Reply
:iconanomalies13:
Anomalies13 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional
Excellent, sign me up for the $50 package. :icontrollfaceplz:
Reply
:iconmogorron:
Mogorron Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
What do I get for 1$?
Reply
:iconcabinetminister:
CabinetMinister Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Oh April, you tricksy month.

If this scheme makes ANY money, then humans are dumber than I thought.
:D
Reply
:iconfrankrmb:
FrankRMB Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Student General Artist
hmmmmmmmmm, I think this is the best college site have yet to see except for the 100 dollars of ass-kissery. To me, ass kickery is better!!!! And cheaper.
Reply
:iconboyann:
Boyann Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
I want to be better than Rob Liefeld! You got me already with '...a stroke job that would make the gods jealous'. I'll start saving ASAP. Thank you for existing and making this world make sense!
Reply
:iconmikmakraw:
MIKMAKRAW Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
"and Liefield"
LOL
Reply
:iconhimteckerjam:
Himteckerjam Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
Hah, oh...win.
Reply
:iconluisarellano:
luisarellano Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
with $100 its sure thaht i get my ass kicked by moebius
Reply
:iconmarkwelser:
markwelser Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
Hmph. This actually sounds like a good idea. Except the $100 option. Anyone willing to pay for a good critique should be charged a lot more.

You might be surprised at how many people would actually want to go along with something like this, Dave.
Reply
:iconmrbabyface:
MrBabyFace Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think this is one of the best ideas I've heard of
Reply
:iconriais:
riais Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The funny thing is that it would certainly work if it were real.
Reply
:iconzhourules:
ZhouRules Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
I hope this isn't an April fools joke. I'll pay anything for a good critique from some of you guys.
Reply
:iconsnarebang:
snarebang Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
Happy April's Fools for you too :laughing: .... on a serious note... that might actually work.
Reply
:icontsujigo:
tsujigo Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
sounds great ( a fair trade and I will not feel bad about it later ) and it would be an honor to have you give your honest opinion of my work , besides for $10 and $20 dollars who could beat a deal like that ! ( either way ,good or bad it could help me all the better ^_^)
Reply
:icondevilpig:
Devilpig Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
You do realize what today is right?
Reply
:iconericschock:
EricSchock Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Artist
About Time! I've been waiting for a course at this school, and critique for 10 years :) lol....jokin.....That was sarcastic, Dave :)
Reply
:icon5chmee:
5chmee Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
you crack my shit up
Reply
:iconarlene2:
arlene2 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I think I like the third option... you know the kissing and stroking one! :D
Reply
:iconcomifab:
cOMIFAB Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Great Idea!
Reply
:iconjesslewis:
JessLewis Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's usually hookers i pay to make me cry.
Reply
:iconmarkirwin:
MarkIrwin Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
I just wanna know how much you guys make when this is all said and done.
Reply
:iconkylebice:
kylebice Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
April Fools ;)
Reply
:iconrichardpace:
RichardPace Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
This could be big.

I'm actually not talking about anything in your journal entry, though. . .
Reply
:iconjoshhood:
joshhood Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
It'll either be the best or worst tenner I've ever spent.
Reply
:iconrandygreen:
RandyGreen Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
I'd say this is "Win!"
Reply
:icontkmillersculpt:
TKMillerSculpt Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Artist
And Liefield! :woohoo:
Reply
:iconmattfranklin:
MattFranklin Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Artist
HAHA!!!! glad I asked early on. But seriously, I don't think yer critiques are harsh. Honesty is the only way any of us improve. "its awesome" or "cool" don't exactly help with personal growth. LOL
Reply
:iconemalterre:
emalterre Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011
totally true !
but sadely Deviantart is often a "Congratulations website" even if the picture, drawing and much more are scrappies
Reply
:iconryanmkincaid:
RyanMKincaid Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
thats awesome.....
Reply
:icondimkas:
Dimkas Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
I've noticed that in the $100 option you only offer Murphy, Panosian and Jusko.
My question is; how much would one have to pay to get ass-kissed by the Rev Johnson himself? :sherlock:
Reply
:iconryanmkincaid:
RyanMKincaid Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
$100 plus a bunch of irish car bombs
Reply
:iconarturkel:
ARTurkel Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
I think you mean hoegarrden. "Get it right, you make us sound like an idiot when you get it wrong"
Reply
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